When you don’t like your kid

If you don’t have kids, think of it this way – Have you ever babysat for somebody, and their kid was just terrible? You try your best to get through the day, while they run around like little tornadoes, with no care in the world. It seems like the purpose of their existence is to ruin as many things as possible. They are flushing things down the toilet, drawing on the walls, constantly getting into the fridge, dumping toys everywhere, playing in the sink, screaming at the dog, and just being a plain old pain in the butt. (All within 10 minutes)

The moment when their parent comes to pick them up is the most sweet release you think you have felt for months, sure you have a pile of things to clean up.. but oh that sweet silence. There is nothing quite as satisfying as the calm after the storm. After cleaning up, you slip on your bunny slippers, make some popcorn, and turn on your favorite TV show, all of which seems much more relaxing after the day you have had.

That is the story of my life, but you know that you can never send them home. Lets be honest here, nobody would admit it, but there are times when you really don’t like your child. Your adorable little angel has turned into a food throwing, name calling monster, and you think to yourself “Did I really make this thing?” You wonder where you have gone wrong, and you see the next 20 years of your life flash before your very eyes.

Right as you think you are in the pit of never ending darkness, what is that you hear? Silence… All of a sudden the storm stands still and you can breathe for a moment. Then you realize that silence, although wonderful, is usually a very bad sign. Mischief is very silent. You walk past the bathroom, the light is on, you hold your breathe and open the door…. YUP… there is now a mini lake on your bathroom floor. “What are you doing?” you ask… “Oh I’m just making soup” your child replies…. You look around to see a soaked roll of toilet paper, shampoo, bubble bath, and what ever that brown stuff used to be, all mixed together in your bathroom sink. It takes a lot of effort to compose yourself. To your child’s dismay you are not as happy with their gift of fresh soup as they originally thought. The bathroom you just spent 2 hours cleaning and disinfecting is now a war zone.

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